Meeting My Needs

A person can learn a better way to meet their needs. Once we make the decision to change a behavior, we have to put a plan into motion. Change does not happen just because we want it to. We have to be willing to do something different.

When we change our behavior, our thinking begins to change. When our thinking changes, our attitude can change as well. That is part of our responsibility. We may not be responsible for everything that has happened to us, but we are responsible for what we do with what has happened.

Once we decide that we want something different, choices have to be made.

How do I change?

Who can help me?

Who can I trust?

What do I really want?

What am I willing to do to achieve it?

We have to examine our plan and be willing to ask ourselves, Is this working? What is my next plan if it isn't?

All people have basic needs. There are five basic needs that we are constantly trying to meet:

• Love and belonging

• Power and achievement

• Fun

• Freedom

• Survival — food, water, and shelter

Within this framework of basic needs, we live our lives. As children and young people, we place many of these needs in someone else's care. We depend on parents, family members, teachers, and other adults to feed us, clothe us, shelter us, educate us, and help us learn how to succeed.

But not everyone we depend on is always there for us.

Sometimes people find themselves alone in a world that is not meeting their needs.

When that happens, we begin looking for ways to meet those needs on our own. Sometimes those choices lead us in directions we never intended to go. We may find ourselves making decisions that put us on the wrong side of the law.

That does not mean the choices were right. It means there was a need that was not being met, and a person was trying to find a way to meet it.

That moment can become an opportunity to stop and ask for help.

There are agencies, group homes, food pantries, counselors, mentors, and social services that can provide a way to get back on track. The important thing is recognizing that you have choices before you reach the point where your choices are taken away from you.

Make the choice to place yourself in a better situation.

Ask for help.

Be willing to listen.

Be willing to try something different.

Sometimes the pain we experience can become the reason we finally slow down long enough to notice what needs to change.

Pain by itself can consume us. But when we give our pain a purpose, it can become fuel for change.

Failure can become experience.

Loss can become motivation.

Heartbreak can become wisdom.

Trauma can become a testimony to your own survival.

Pain does not have to be the end of your story. It can become your turning point.

The things we have been through can teach us compassion, patience, and a different way of looking at life. But the lesson only matters if we use what we have learned to make better choices.

We cannot always choose what happens to us. We can choose what we do next.

Meeting our needs in a healthy way is part of learning how to take control of our lives. Sometimes that means admitting that what we have been doing is not working. Sometimes it means trusting someone enough to ask for help.

And sometimes the most important choice we can make is simply to believe that there is a better way—and then be willing to take the first step toward it.