Toxic Relationships

Toxic Relationships

There was a time where I was the “big fish”. It seemed like I was the one people looked up to, people were trying to please, and people who wanted what I have. People wanted to live their lives vicariously through me. But what was really happening was they were trying to pull me down to their level. This is what we are talking about today: People who are trying to pull you down to their level.

This is something to be aware of. People like this will always be your friend because they want to pull you down to their way of thinking. This is a form of manipulation, and it is something to be wary of. This does not include people with a different outlook on things. Those people are the ones to keep in your inner circle, because they might have a perspective that you might not have considered, especially if they are trying to help you improve what you are trying to accomplish.

Also if you are easily influenced by people, this is an easy trap to fall into. You will automatically start identifying with their train of thought and start doubting your beliefs if you don’t have strong boundaries to help guide your thought process. And when you start doubting your beliefs, you fall into a trap that will keep you from striving to succeed.

Three questions to ask yourself:

1. Is the topic we are talking about making me feel uncomfortable?

2. What are the other people around me talking about?

3. Are the people always trying to validate themselves to me?

These questions are a good guideline to see if things are going to get toxic according to your belief system.

We are the sum of the people we hang out on a regular basis. Think about this for a second: The last time you were hanging out with someone, did you start to agree with them even though in the back of your mind you were not agreeing with them? This happens a lot more than we realize. This isn’t necessarily toxic, but something to be aware of when it comes to making your life something to have meaning or be fulfilling.

Some of our limiting beliefs come from toxic or unhealthy relationships. Former abusive relationships, especially emotional, contribute to this feeling. From these we get the “I can only get bad relationships”, “I can only get dead end jobs”, or the most common one: “I am not worthy of success”.

I see in a lot of people the mantra of “I am not worth it”, and that leads to “it’s not worth the effort because nothing ever changes”. This is a big red sign to pay attention to, because this is where you become the warden of your own prison. You have the keys, and you can unlock the gate, but you choose not to and stay where you are at, without any self-confidence or self-motivation.

Take-aways from the article:

• Toxic and unhealthy relationships can lead to inactivity.

• Toxic and unhealthy relationships can drag you down to their level.

• Toxic and unhealthy relationships will attempt to distract you from your boundaries.

• Toxic and unhealthy relationships will keep you locked in your own prison.

Michael Barnes is a life coach and speaker on the key to unlocking the 5 aspects of a life worth living. Book a free chat here and see how he can help you start a life worth living.

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